You're Not Alone When You Turn to These 6 Books About Infidelity
Allow these books to help heal your broken heart.
Books To Help You Through Infidelity
Infidelity is a very sensitive topic and can bring up a lot of different emotions no matter how much time has passed. In this article, we will talk about six different books about infidelity that will help guide you through your options, through healing, and ultimately, through reclaiming your life.
Most people enter long-term relationships and marriages believing their partner will never cheat on them. So when it does happen, it is particularly painful thing to go through. Some relationships don't survive it, while others are able to work through it and later thrive. It usually comes down to the couple's (and the individual's) willingness to work through everything.
Now, during such a tumultuous time in your life, you may be wondering what use a book could be to you, but don't write them off just yet. These books are written by experts or people well-versed in infidelity and relationships and have a lot of practical advice to offer. They're able to bring up points you maybe haven't thought of, and bring a little clarity to the situation during a time of hurt. Whether you decide to go through with a divorce, try to reconcile, try a separation, or try something else, it definitely can't hurt to give a book a try!
1. Transcending Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder: The Six Stages of Healing by Dennis Ortman, PhD
In Transcending Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder: The Six Stages of Healing, Psychologist Dennis Ortman draws comparisons between PTSD and the psychological fallout from infidelity. He uses a treatment model for PTSD to help people "work through conflicting emotions," "understand yourself and your partner," and "make important life decisions." He utilizes guided meditations, journaling, and case studies to help you work through the six stages of grief toward healing.
2. The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel
Esther Perel spent ten years working with hundreds of couples around the world who experienced infidelity. In her book, The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, Perel shares that knowledge with everyone. She examines modern relationships and marriages, including "what we expect, what we think, what we want, and what we feel entitled to," and offers practical advice on how to heal from the trauma and hurt from an affair. Perel finds that even if a couple doesn't stay together, using the right approach, people can become stronger than before and learn to heal.
3. Infidelity: the Best Worst Thing that Could Happen to Your Marriage: The Complete Guide on How to Heal from Affairs by Talal H. Alsaleem LMFT
Talal H. Alsaleem LMFT doesn't want the trauma and hurt of infidelity to run the rest of your life. Their book, Infidelity: the Best Worst Thing that Could Happen to Your Marriage: The Complete Guide on How to Heal from Affairs, is the first step toward rebuilding a healthy, happy life. Alsaleem offers a step-by-step guide on how to create an action plan to help move forward toward recovery and any challenges that come with it, along with making "an informed choice about the future of your relationship."
4. Surviving Infidelity: Making Decisions, Recovering from the Pain by Rona B Subotnik and Gloria Harris
In family therapist Rona B. Subotnik and clinical psychologist Gloria G. Harris PhD's book, Surviving Infidelity: Making Decisions, Recovering from the Pain, they walk you through the different decisions to make about the future of your marriage and how to heal from the pain of infidelity. Other things discussed in the book include a rundown of the different types of affairs, how to cope with the various emotions you feel, ways to repair your marriage if that's the route you want to take, and "learning what it takes to be a survivor."
5. Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide by Tracy Schorn
Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide by Tracy Schorn is a little different than the other books on this list. After realizing many books on infidelity put a lot of focus on the person who cheats and their "unmet needs or their challenges with monogamy," Schorn decided to write a book for the person who was cheated on and their needs. She presents a sarcastic, charming, and funny guide of healing for people who have been cheated on.
6. The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity by Tammy Nelson PhD
When entering relationships, couples often assume they're on the same page as far as monogamy or even that they have the same definition of it. There are times when one partner breaks the other person's definition of monogamy, leading to loss of trust. In Tammy Nelson PhD's The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity, offers a way for couples to stay together by "redefining the monogamy contract," which is an open conversation that allows partners to have a say in "ground rules for the relationship."
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Do you have a favorite infidelity self help book?