Anxiety is the unquiet nights of tossing and turning. It’s your mind never turning itself off. It’s the overload of thoughts before sleeping. It's seeing your fears take shape in dreams and nightmares.
It's waking up after a frustrated attempt of resting.
It's functioning besides your lack of sleep because falling asleep early is impossible with your over-active mind.
It's overthinking simple texts messages and sending a double text in case you messed up. It's trying to answer too fast, and overthinking every word after it's sent.
It's your imagination telling you all the worst possibilities when people take their time to answer your text or calls.
Waiting is the hardest thing. The voice in your head says "maybe they can't answer right now" and also "maybe they just don't care."
The constant talk in your head alerting you of all possible negative outcomes. Your brain makes unbiased decisions before any answer.
It's saying "sorry" even when it's not required.
It's seeing yourself and the world through lenses of insecurity and self-doubt.
It's the feeling you are in a long and never ending wait.
It’s being unable to stop your mind from creating a scenario in head. It's trying to cope with those images in your head that turn your day into a nightmare
It's paying close attention to people's tone of voice, word choice and body language.
It's a head set up to protect you from relationships that don't even exist yet, that might never take shape because of overthinking.
It's the 'they are going to hurt you'; 'they don't like you enough' ruining relationships before they begin.
It's trying to find calmness in the mist of fear and panic that is invisible to others.
The root of all anxiety is caring too much of what other people think, how would they react.
It’s the pain in the stomach for being unable to digest situations properly. It's disguising sweaty hands and fast heartbeat in a shield of "normality".
It's making a big effort to keep a smile on your face while your feelings and thoughts are completely unsettled inside you.
It's finding unacceptable to show your true self since your mind believes people already have difficult to accept the "nice version of you" you try to present them.
Some who know you better try to make it easier with sentences like, ‘don’t worry’ or ‘relax.’ Your friend really get puzzled by your conclusions, they have no clue how you get there.
Still, they try to support you while you mind is in a battle with itself.
It's not finding a moment of peace.
‘Did I lock the door?’ ‘
‘What I am forgetting?’
it's the necessity to double check everything.
It's the painful attempt to be sociable when you find yourself at a party and you believe everybody is looking and you and judging you. Or for some, it's the feeling of invisibility that makes you think you shouldn't be there, you would not be missed.
It's trying to drink a bit to loosen up and nest morning waking up feeling lost. 'Did I say anything wrong? Why did I do it? Should I apologize?'
It's the struggle to overcompensate for small mistakes. It's trying to please people to be accepted when you don't really know how to accept yourself.
Anxiety is the fear of failure and striving for perfection. Then beating yourself up when you fall short.
It’s the need of meticulous planning of every daily life event.
It's the voice in your head trying to sabotage your hope, it's constantly alerting you how things can go wrong.
It's overworking. It's taking on more than you can handle just so you are distracted and not overthinking something.
It's the procrastination when you feel paralyzed with fear of failing so you don't even start.
It’s breaking down in private when you’re overwhelmed, making sure no one sees this side of you.
Anxiety is trying again. You get used to living with the negative voice saying you'll fail. But you use every bit of energy to run from it.
But more than anything anxiety is caring. It’s never wanting to hurt someone’s feelings. It’s never wanting to do something wrong.
More than anything, it’s the want and need to simply be accepted and liked. So you try too hard sometimes.
And when you come across friends who begin to understand, they help you through it.
Then you realize this might be struggle you face every day but it’s one you won’t have to face alone.
H/T: thoughtcatalog.com / Kirsten Corley
Check also: Neuroscientists discovered a song that reduces anxiety by 65% Created by Marconi Union, the musicians teamed up with sound therapists to carefully arrange harmonies, rhythms and bass lines, which in turn slow a listener’s heart rate and blood pressure, while also lowering stress hormones like cortisol.
If you find yourself in need of help or if you want to support a friend, speak out. Anxiety should not be neglected.
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