11 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You’re A People-Pleaser

["mental health", "anxiety"]
Thought Catalog / Ryan Moreno

"You would rather hurt yourself than hurt someone else..."

1. You Find It Impossible To Get Rid Of Unwanted People.

Getting rid of toxic people is a very hard task and you are afraid of hurting their feelings or making anyone in the world hate you. You put up with them and whatever upsets you. You don't want to be hated by anybody, not even jerks.

2. You Apologize For E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

How many "I’m sorrys" do you use per day? You apologize for everything, even when things aren’t necessarily your fault. You absolutely hate making other people feel bad about themselves, so you take the blame.

3. You Haven't Learned How To Say "NO" Yet.

You avoid that two-letter word as much as cats avoid baths. You’re sick with the flu, about to pass out from exhaustion and dehydration, but you still go to work. Making other people happy is more important than being "harshly" honest.

4. You Don’t Make Time For Yourself.

Because you are so strongly into making other people in your life feel fulfilled and happy, you rarely make time for yourself. You never take a day off just to relax and enjoy your own company. You are always on the go, never even stopping to take a breath of fresh air. You value the people in your life more than you value yourself.

5. Past Resentments Are Very Present.

You find yourself holding onto past situations: occasions when you didn’t want to do something, but you did it anyway. Because you’re a good person, somebody convinced you, and you have a hard time letting go.

You hold onto these experiences in your head. You accumulate a load of anger towards the people who took advantage of your kindness.

6. People Take Advantage Of You Too Frequently.

Since they know that you will literally do anything for them, your friends and family sometimes take advantage of you. Your friends pressure you to do things you are uncomfortable with, but because you just want to keep the friendship alive, you end up doing things you regret.

7. Some Call You "Weak".

Since some people don’t understand why you do so much for others and why you care so much, they think you are weak.

They don’t understand that it brings you immense pleasure to make other people smile. Pushing aside your own feelings for the benefit of others is common for you, NOT for those around you.

8. Selfish - No, Please. Not me.

Being selfish is something that you avoid at all costs. You hardly know how to make decisions for yourself or go after what you want, because you are always more concerned about the desires of others.

You feel incredibly uncomfortable doing things that your friends and family disagree with, and so often, you find yourself doing what they want rather than what you believe deep down is best for you.

9. Hurting Yourself Is Bad, Hurting Someone Else is Unacceptable.

Before you make a statement or do practically anything, you think to yourself, what would my friends think? How would my loved ones feel? Instead of making a decision based on your feelings, you make it solely about everyone else. You don't ever say anything that would bring somebody else in the room down... that's just not who you are.

10. Past Friendships And Past Relationships Are Impossible To Let Go Of.

They are heavy and useless, but you carry them around. Even if they don’t fulfill you.

You hold onto keeping in touch with all your exes and exes' friends because you don’t want to look mean. In reality, you’re making yourself feel worse and are actually causing yourself more and more anguish. You need to let them go. Declutter your social life, cut out the people you don't need.

11. You’re The Champion Of Overanalyzing Everything.

You over-analyze things, and you over-analyze yourself. You can’t help it. Before taking any action, you see yourself asking other people's opinion about it. You’re always impulsed to do the best thing for them.

People's feelings and well-being are your priority. You try to adjust to whatever is more convenient for other people. It’s never, ever about you or your needs.

People-Pleasers make the world a better place for everybody. Everybody, that is, except themselves.

H/T: Thoughtcatalog.com


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