In the olden days, you could end a relationship and never ever see that person again.
Now, you may not see them IRL, but you still have an all access pass to them and their daily life via their Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Tumblr, Linked In, ten-year-old Xanga page, etc.
Honestly, who can blame a girl for wanting to get her creep on and check out what her high school boyfriend had for breakfast this morning?
Read on for the creepy things that most of us with internet access are guilty of:
1. Excessively Stalked A Person You Don't Even Know
It's midnight on a Tuesday. Time to find out what my friend's sister's boyfriend's cousin's mom's tattoo artist who lives in Italy has been up to!
2. Accidentally Liked An Old Profile Picture
Step One: Accidentally like a friend of a friend's prom picture from 2009. Step Two: Unlike the picture. Step Three: Frantically google if the person still gets a notification if you unlike the picture. Step Four: Crawl under covers and never face the light of day again.
3. Drunk Messaged Your Ex
The chat button's right there. I wonder how he's been? I'll just type out a casual chill message, but I'm definitely not going to send it.
4. Drunk Messaged Your Ex and Then Said "Wrong Person"
I'll just say I meant to send that to my coworker who's also named Tyler. That'll fool him.
5. Followed a Girl on Insta Just Because She's Really Really Pretty
I mean, who hasn't developed an unhealthy Instagram girl crush that you stalk obsessively/want to be?
6. Back-stalked Yourself to Middle School
Extra points if you've done it "through the eyes" of someone else looking at your page. Because obviously everyone is interested in looking through ten years of my pictures. Time to delete those duck face middle school selfies!
7. Creeped the Facebook of Every Girl Your Ex Has Taken a Pic with in the Past Six Months
Are they just friends? Are they in love? Are they getting married? From the way she's putting her arm around him it definitely looks like she's in love with him. Oh wait, that's his cousin, we're good.
8. Extensively Investigated All Your Current Boyfriend's Exes
If any of them are hotter than me I'm gonna freak the f*ck out.
9. Watched Your Crush's Snap Story to Figure Out Where They Are
I'm not saying I'm going to actually go there because that would just be psycho. But I do think from the Neon lighting in the background that this is a bar only .7 miles away from my house so...
10. Excessively Stalked Comment Threads to Find the Origin of Some Drama
Ok, so maybe it isn't totally relevant to my life that this girl I knew from high school isn't speaking to her twin sister. But I'm still going to need to spend hours of my time back stalking their pages until I find answers.
11. Accidentally Followed Your Ex's New Girlfriend
All I wanted to do was make fun of her three-month-anniversary Instagram collage. But now I have to throw my phone into the ocean and live as a hermit in the woods.
12. Wished You Were an "Instagram Model"
Why aren't I on a beach in Greece endorsing sunglasses on Instagram? Life just isn't fair.
13. Scrolled Through All Their Tweets to Figure Out Their Political Leanings
This is more research and analysis than I put into my college thesis, tbh, but it's crucial that I discover who you voted for in the 2016 election.
14. Gotten Really Paranoid and Deleted Your Search History
Coming out of a stalking session is always a bit alarming. What if my browser is on some weird setting and everything I've done is visible to everyone in the world? I should probably never use the internet again.
It may be a bit creepy, but we all cyber stalk from time to time. There's no need to hide behind your computer screen in shame.
SHARE your thoughts on social media stalking!