12 Hilarious Differences Between Drunk Texting In College Vs. The Real World
Hard to talk yourself out of this one...
We've all done it, and we all probably still do it. Drunk texting may be something we do forever. But it's different now that you're an adult and have a job and some minor responsibilities.
Check out our 13 ways drunk texting has changed from those late nights out in college to those early wine nights in today.
1. Work schedule in college:
Did you even work in college? If you did, it probably was only a few hours per week, enough to fund your weekend party habits most likely. You probably didn’t even have a set schedule other than for classes. So if it was Wednesday at 2 p.m. and you didn’t have class until Thursday at 12 p.m., day drinking might have been in your future. That means technically, drunk texting could start at any time on Wednesdays after 2 p.m. and was not restricted to weekends after midnight.
2. Work schedule now:
Now, you have a job (I’m assuming) and that makes it hard to take off at 2 p.m. on Wednesdays to drink with lunch, and continue into the night. You might get home at 7 p.m. every night, have one glass of wine, and PTFO. But the worst part is having the phone numbers of all your coworkers. Accidentally sending “OMG I freaking hate Julie from management,” to Julie will make your M-F extremely awkward for a looong time. Hopefully you have a backup plan.
3. Emailing in college:
Emailing in college was usually reserved for communicating with teachers and sending out resumes for internships. It was honestly barely used at all.
4. Emailing now:
Now, you live and die by your work email. How many messages do you get each day? All hours of the day, too. And we’ve all been there, you’re at happy hour or dinner after work, having a few drinks, when your phone lights up with an email from the boss. And you respond… thus perpetuating a new type of adult drunk texting aka drunk emailing. We’ve all been there, right? RIGHT?
5. Having a significant other in college:
In college, you either had a significant other or you were a free bird. So when that clock hit 1 or 2 a.m and you were feelin’ the dirty twirls after a night out, a simple jumbled text to your hook-up of the month did the trick just fine. Also key: this text exchange usually occurred after midnight. So it was no big deal.
6. Having a significant other now:
Now that you’re presumably an adult, you might be engaged in an adult relationship and have responsibilities. Maybe you live with your S.O., so you don’t even have to text them. You can down that last drop of wine and be ready to go. Or always have someone to pick you up from the bar. Win-win.
7. Tolerance in college:
Maybe you pregamed with 7-10 beers in college. Maybe you pregamed with a whole bottle of wine. Or, maybe you pregamed with several shots of vodka (omg barf). The point, is that your tolerance was most likely at its peak. You didn’t even consider drunk texting until your blackout-self was on the loose and made all those decisions without your approval. This resulted in drunk texts being sent at the normal hours of 1 through 4 a.m..
8. Tolerance now:
Now, two glasses of pinot at 8 p.m. and those fingers are twitching to text at a 12-year-old’s bedtime hour. Seriously, you can’t even think of taking shots anymore… how did you ever do it? Due to a low tolerance you may find yourself drunk texting muuuuch earlier than you used to.
9. You GAF in college:
Waking up and seeing those drunk texts could either go one of two ways: 1. You are thoroughly embarrassed and contemplate moving across the country and changing your name, phone number, family, etc. 2. You did not wake up in your own bed. If it was one, you probably cared... a lot. If it was two, you probably still kind of cared. And then it was awkward seeing that person on campus everywhere. Literally, everywhere.
10. DGAF now:
If you wake up and see you may have bootycalled some dude you met on Tinder, WHO CARES. Honestly you may never see him again. And at least you tried. You’re not getting any younger, and you showed initiative so way to go, girl! You independent AF. You don’t need no man.
11. Drunk texting friends in college:
Trying to find your friends at a bar after you’ve all had too much to drink is the ultimate game of manhunt: “Where are you?” “Where are you?” “I’m here!” “I’m here too!” “Where are you??” “Omg where are you?” “I was just in the bathroom you weren’t there.” “Omg I can’t see where are you?!”
12. Drunk texting friends now:
“Can we reschedule… I’m too tired.”
SHARE your thoughts on drunk texting now vs. in college!