16 Things What Women Say vs What They Actually Mean
Sometimes we DO want you to read our minds.
1. "It's fine"
A phrase commonly uttered by a woman who finds herself in an argument which has managed to piss her off to the point that she wants you to go away while she figures out the best way to respond to it.
2. “Does This Make Me Look Fat?”
A stealthy confession that the woman in question is currently feeling a little self-conscious about herself, wants to look nice for you, and needs you to remind her how beautiful you think she is.
3. “We Need To Talk…”
A declaration uttered by a woman who has delivered the speech she’s about to recite for you into a mirror about 40 times, perfected it to her satisfaction, and wants to hit you with it while she’s still got the nerve.
4. “I’ll Be Ready in Five More Minutes!”
A sincere belief often uttered by women who hope that making such a promise will somehow give them the ability to override reality and usher such a miracle into being.
5. “Awww, look at that baby!”
An exclamation commonly proclaimed by women who, though occasionally despite long term knowledge to the contrary, currently find themselves bombarded by maternal instincts into the vague but sincere desire to produce a tiny, cuddly offspring as soon as possible.
6. “I’ll Just Go For One Drink.”
A bold faced lie women tell themselves, the innate falsehood of which is often revealed by the emergence of regrettable social media photos the next day.
7. “Do Whatever You Want.”
A way in a woman may consent that although she isn't able to control your choices, you have presented the idea of acting on one that will quite possibly result in incurring her wrath.
8. “You’re Just Like a Brother To Me.”
A phrase which women offer men as a gentle confirmation that they will never be sleeping together. Ever.
9. "We Can Still Be Friends”
A vaguely reassuring utterance generally issued by a woman during the course of breaking up with men. Often accompanied by the hope of softening the harsh blow of the underlying truth that the chances of any further interaction are quite slim.
10. “Sorry, My Phone Was Off”
A white lie offered by a woman who has quite possibly shady buttoned you, but does not desire to hurt your feelings.
11. “How Do You Know Her?”
Generally uttered in as unassuming a tone as a woman can muster, this “casual” question is a request for your reassurance that another female is in no way a threat to the relationship which the two of you are currently enjoying.
12. “I Wasn’t That Drunk”
A wishful statement generally ushered by a woman who wishes you’d stop reminding her of how totally tanked she was during a given incident.
13. “Is That What You’re Wearing?”
A gentle tactic oftentimes employed by women in an attempt to direct the subject to reconsider the wardrobe they’ve selected.
14. “It’s Not You, It’s Me.”
A breakup tactic employed by women in an attempt to leave a guy’s balls intact although she’s no longer interested in entertaining a romantic relationship with said gentleman.
15. “I Have Nothing To Wear.”
A proclamation lamented by a woman who has deemed each and every garment in her closet thoroughly unacceptable for a designated occasion.
16. “I’ll Just Have a Salad.”
An order often delivered by women whose desire to fit into their old jeans only slightly outweighs their intense desire to consume whatever you’re having.