Things Every Arkansas Girl Knows To Be True

old man looking, watermelon, Arkansas
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1. For real Southern women, every zoo is a petting zoo.

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2. The higher the hair, the closer to God.

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3. There are few situations in life that can’t be fixed with prayer or duct tape.

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4. Dirty Laundry is to be divided into 3 piles: Darks, Whites, and Camo

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5. Any respectable child’s education begins with the words “Woo Pie Sooie” as soon as they are capable of producing sound.

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6. The correct procedure for the forecast of the slightest suspicion of rain is a mad dash to Kroger to stock up on enough non-perishables to feed your family for a year.

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7. The term “traffic jam” refers to five or more trucks honking at a cow in an effort to inspire it to finish crossing the road.

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8. It’s perfectly normal to assume the color of your blood is due to the fact that you bleed Razorback red well into your teens.

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9. Ain’t nothing wrong with a healthy respect for the terror that is the Boggy Creek/Fouke Monster

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10. This structure, though built in 1973, shall forever be referred to in your book as “the new Memphis Bridge.”

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11. There has yet to be discovered a meal which Rotel dip can’t or should never be worked into.

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12. The Memphis and Little Rock Airports are the gateways to the rest of the world.

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13. The proper response to a request for tea is “Sweet or Unsweet?”

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14. What happens on the river in Hardy, stays on the river in Hardy.

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