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Signs You May Be From The South

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1. Your vehicle has been accidentally responsible for the death of a deer, possum, coyote, or an unfortunate combination of the above.

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2. You don’t have a single vacation memory that takes place outside the greater Branson area.

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3. An alarming amount of your living room décor once roamed the woods adjacent to your home.

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4. You think of the county fair as no less than a traveling Disneyland for Southern people.

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5. You measure distances to various locals in the amount of cigarettes it generally takes you to arrive.

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6. The majority of your state is more concerned with where you rank in football than education.

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7. You’ve ever been involved in a snipe hunt in any capacity.

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8. You lost at least one member of your bridal party in the surrounding woods.

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9. One or more of your evenings this weekend revolved around a trip to Walmart.

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10. The number of cars you own vastly outnumbers the number of valid license plates.

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11. You once saw a mosquito so big you swear it had tattoos.

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12. You grew up with no idea that not every school in the country got the day off for the opening of deer season.

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13. At least one person in your family has more hunting dogs than teeth.

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14. You’re still at a loss to come up with many greater social distinctions than owning your very own wraparound porch.

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15. The sight of a single snowflake was enough to shut down schools multiple counties.

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