Signs You May Be From The South

1. Your vehicle has been accidentally responsible for the death of a deer, possum, coyote, or an unfortunate combination of the above.

2. You don’t have a single vacation memory that takes place outside the greater Branson area.

3. An alarming amount of your living room décor once roamed the woods adjacent to your home.

4. You think of the county fair as no less than a traveling Disneyland for Southern people.

5. You measure distances to various locals in the amount of cigarettes it generally takes you to arrive.

6. The majority of your state is more concerned with where you rank in football than education.

7. You’ve ever been involved in a snipe hunt in any capacity.

8. You lost at least one member of your bridal party in the surrounding woods.

9. One or more of your evenings this weekend revolved around a trip to Walmart.

10. The number of cars you own vastly outnumbers the number of valid license plates.

11. You once saw a mosquito so big you swear it had tattoos.

12. You grew up with no idea that not every school in the country got the day off for the opening of deer season.

13. At least one person in your family has more hunting dogs than teeth.

14. You’re still at a loss to come up with many greater social distinctions than owning your very own wraparound porch.

15. The sight of a single snowflake was enough to shut down schools multiple counties.