17 Hilariously Inspirational Ellen DeGeneres Quotes


Laugh. Dance. Love.

Have you ever had one of those friends whose sort of brilliant but in a hilarious way? As George Bernard Shaw once said, "If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh..."

Perhaps there's no better modern day master of delivering inspiration with a dose of laughter than Ellen DeGeneres, comedian, gay rights activist, and all around brilliant gal.

Here you'll find a list of truths as only Ellen can deliver them. So if you're the look-out for important life lessons but no so much in the mood to get all serious and brooding, then read on and rest assured you'd come to the right place.

"Follow your passion. Stay true to yourself. Never follow someone else's path unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that."


"Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system."

"My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada."

"Do we have to worry about who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?"

"Procrastinate now, don't put it off."


"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."


"Accept who you are, unless you're a serial killer."


"You're never too old to play. You're only too old for low-rise jeans."


"I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, I would really go over there and grab those signs and smash them over their heads and shove them up their asses. But…I'm a loving, spiritual person."


"Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings."


"Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are passing you on the street saying, ‘I can't tell if that person is laughing or crying, but either way they seem crazy, let's walk faster."


"It's our challenges and obstacles that give us layers of depth and make us interesting. Are they fun when they happen? No. But they are what make us unique. And that's what I know for sure… I think."

"I would like to end with my favorite Mark Twain quote: 'Don't worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine and life makes love look hard.' That was actually Taylor Swift, but she does have a point."

"Why don't they give us things we can actually use? I don't need a thinner phone. You know what I need? I need a tortilla chip that can support the weight of guacamole."


"Portia and I have been married for four years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those four years I don't think we hurt anyone else's marriage. I asked all of my neighbors and they say they are fine."


"You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled."


"If someone ever says you're weird, say thank you."

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