Trixie Mattel Quotes You Won't Regret Tattooing on Your Body

via Instagram: @trixiemattel

"Low lights for a low life."

These Trixie Mattel Quotes Are UNHhhh-Believably Over-the-Top Fantastic

How do I even begin to explain Trixie Mattel?

Trixie Mattel is flawless. She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus. I hear her hair's insured for—wait, that's Regina George.

Legend, icon, and star Trixie Mattel is a drag queen who uses her dark sense of humor to watch the world burn. She might be flawless, but she doesn't own two Fendi purses or a silver Lexus. She drives around in a Barbie jeep like the plastic fantastic queen she is.

Because the world really needs to appreciate this skinny legend's talents more, I decided to round up some of the best Trixie Mattel quotes of all time.

I can't say you'll enjoy reading through this list of ridiculous things to escape Trixie's lips, but you will laugh (or even cry) out of sympathy. Enjoy!

Best Trixie Mattel Quotes

  • "If you wish you were me right now, it's natural."

  • "Low lights for a low life."

  • "Just because you paid a lot for it, doesn't mean it's nice."

  • "People on a daily basis walk up to me, panic, and tell me something extremely graphic and violent about their life."

  • "I always tell my mom that if she would have just bought me a Barbie when I was little, I would have gone into real estate."

  • "Trixie Mattel is a product of bad things that happened to me, and it's how I deal with things. It's wonderful."

  • "Dark comedy helped me survive."

  • "Oh, honey!"

  • "I paint for the check cashing place down the street."

  • "I like my men like I like my coffee... incapable of loving me back."

Funny Trixie Mattel Quotes

  • "I will not Jodie Foster this kind of behavior."

  • "Nothing, I just like you."

  • "It's not incest if it's Paul Rudd."

  • "Hi, I'm the chemical burn from the spiral perm, Trixie Mattel."

  • "Snatching trophies? I am a trophy."

  • "If the Lord can lead you to it, he can lead you through it."

  • "Winner winner, chicken... dinner."

  • "Everybody says, 'Oh my god, Trixie! It must be so amazing, it must be like everything's just handed to you!', and the truth is, yes. Everything is just handed to me. Unfortunately, I have two hooks."

  • "How do I sleep at night? Ask your husband."

  • "Alright, public school, calm down."

Great Trixie Mattel Quotes

  • "We're going to top our own expectations of ourselves."

  • "Maybe she's born with it? Maybe it's clinical depression?"

  • "Know what your'e worth and demand three times that."

  • "I'm in a nightmare."

  • "If you don't accept me at my David Blaine, you don't deserve me at my Criss Angel."

  • "You get up, you dust yourself off, and leech off your famous friend Katya."

  • "Some people might say I'm fake, but those people are alcoholics."

  • "All my jokes are cries for help."

  • "It's weird to not believe in god, but also be so scared of him."

  • "People are absolute garbage."

We Want to Hear From You

Which Trixie Mattel quote did you connect with most?

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