21 'Spaceballs' Quotes That Are Too Hilarious

Rick Moranis as Dark Helmet in 'Spaceballs'
Spaceballs via Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

May the Schwartz be with you!

Read These Spaceballs Quotes When You Need a Good Laugh

In a galaxy very, very, very, very far away, Spaceballs captured the hearts of many.

The hilarious '80s sci-fi spoof really captured all the bleeps, sweeps, and creeps we love most about movies of this nature. Years later, and we're still obsessed with this film.

When we need a good laugh, we turn to these iconic lines from the movie. Read through the very best Spaceballs quotes here and now to laugh your helmet off!

Best Spaceballs Quotes

  • "So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb." -Dark Helmet

  • "God willing, we’ll all meet again in Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money." -Yogurt

  • "You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now let’s see how well you handle it." -Dark Helmet

  • "I’ve lost the bleeps, I’ve lost the sweeps, and I’ve lost the creeps." -Radar Technician

  • "Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now." -Colonel Sandurz

  • "Oh, no. Not again." -John Hurt

  • "That was my virgin-alarm. It's programmed to go off before you do!" -Dot Matrix

Funny Spaceballs Quotes

  • "I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes!" -Dark Helmet

  • "Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs-the T-shirt, Spaceballs-the Coloring Book, Spaceballs-the Lunch box, Spaceballs-the Breakfast Cereal, Spaceballs-the Flame Thrower." -Yogurt

  • "I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate." -Dark Helmet

  • "What's that make us?" -Lone Starr

  • "Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become." -Dark Helmet

  • "You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles!" -Captain of the Guard

  • "Out of order? Fuck! Even in the future nothing works!" -Dark Helmet

Iconic Spaceballs Quotes

  • "No, no, no, stupid, you've got it much too high. It's down here where the shoulder meets the neck." -Megamaid Guard

  • "No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again." -Colonel Sandurz

  • "No, no, no. Go past this. Pass this part. In fact, never play this again." -Dark Helmet

  • "I ain't shooting this thing, I hate guns." -Princess Vespa

  • "Please, please, don't make a fuss. I'm just plain Yogurt." -Yogurt

  • "You listen. On this ship, you're to refer to me as 'idiot,' not 'you captain.' I mean, you know what I mean." -Lone Starr

  • "They've gone to plaid!" -Barf

We Want to Hear From You

Which quote made you want to stop whatever you're doing and watch Spaceballs immediately?

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