30 Quotes About Sex That'll Have You Ready to Get It On

Ana and Christian kissing each other in 'Fifty Shades Freed'
Fifty Shades Freed via Universal Pictures

A sex quote for your dirty thoughts?

Everyone Can Relate to These Hilarious Yet Seductive Quotes About Sex

Sex is a major part of life. Heck, it's the reason we have life.

Though we seldom ever talk about our sex lives and prefer to keep the act shrouded in secrecy behind closed doors, we're all doing it. And we're all doing it in less vanilla ways than everyone thinks. No shame here, this is a judgement-free zone

Whether you let your freak flag fly in the bedroom or need a little help unleashing the sexual goddess within, there's a quote about sex that'll help you with whatever problem (or lack thereof) you have.

Read through some hilarious and sultry quotes about sex now!

Love & Other Drugs via 20th Century Fox

Quotes About Sex

  • "Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power." -Oscar Wilde

  • "Love is an ice cream sundae, with all the marvelous coverings. Sex is the cherry on top." -Jimmy Dean

  • "Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it's the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can't take it. And at this moment you're a part of them." -Thom York

  • "I have sex with you a lot in my head." -Unknown

  • "Sex is great until you die, but it's never as great as it was when you were a kid, when it was a mystery." -David Duchovny

  • "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." -Billy Crystal

  • "Sex should be a perfect balance of pain and pleasure. Without that symmetry, sex becomes a routine rather than an indulgence." -Marquis de Sade

  • "Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." -Mae West

  • "Sex isn't the answer. Sex is the question, yes is the answer." -AJ McLean

  • "Sex is a short cut to everything." -Anne Cumming

Fifty Shades Freed via Universal Pictures

Funny Quotes About Sex

  • "I would rather cuddle then have sex. If your'e good at grammar, you'll get it." -Unknown

  • "We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation." -Lily Tomlin

  • "In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind." -Nora Ephron

  • "The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette." -Unknown

  • "If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut." -Unknown

  • "Usually I'm on top to keep the guy from escaping." -Lisa Lampanelli

  • "It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom." -Joan Rivers

  • "Sex is like math: you add the bed,subtract the clothes,divide the legs, and pray you don't multiply." -Unknown

  • "I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people." -Chelsea Handler

  • "An orgasm a day keeps the worries away." -Unknown

Trainwreck via Universal Pictures

Best Quotes About Sex

  • "Come sleep with me. We won't make love, love will make us." -Julio Cort├ízar

  • "Sex without love is merely healthy exercise." -Robert A. Heinlein

  • "What holds the world together, as I have learned from bitter experience, is sexual intercourse." -Henry Miller

  • "Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature." -Marilyn Monroe

  • "No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor." -Betty Friedan

  • "Sex, whatever else it is, is an athletic skill. The more you practice, the more you can, the more you want to, the more you enjoy it, the less it tires you." -Robert A. Heinlein

  • "Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex." -Hunter S. Thompson

  • "A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after." -Gloria Steinem

  • "Sex is an emotion in motion." -Mae West

  • "Sex is kicking death in the ass while singing." -Charles Bukowski

Eyes Wide Shut via Warner Bros.

We Want to Hear From You

Which quote about sex made you horny, but also gave you a good laugh?

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