30 Funniest Quotes From Netflix's 'Derry Girls'

The main characters of Derry Girls walking to school
Derry Girls via Channel 4

Are you watching the best show on Netflix?

Have Yourself a Laugh While Reading These 30 Funniest Derry Girls Quotes

We're going to let you in on Netflix's best kept secret—Derry Girls.

Set in the time during the great politic conflict of Northern Ireland in the 1990s, the series follows a group of teens as they attempt to get on with their lives amidst all the chaos.

It's got plenty of heart, but a heck of a lot more hilarity than any show we've seen as of late. Though it can sometimes be difficult to understand them with their thick accents, it's well worth watching until you develop one of your own.

Chances are you wound up here, because you're already a fan of the show. For that, we salute you. As much as we all wish we could be watching it 24/7, we simply cannot. At least you can have these funny Derry Girls quotes by your side when you're in dire need of a good laugh.

Best Derry Girls Quotes

  • "So it has nothing to do with me. Yes, okay, I was there, I admit that, but I didn't do anything, it was Michelle. It was all Michelle. I'm not going down for something I didn't do. If anyone deserves to get punished, it should be Michelle!" -Clare

  • "We're not abducting him, Clare—we're kidnapping him." -Erin

  • "She really knows how to grab things by the balls." -Michelle

  • "Well, why in under God weren't you writing from the soul?" -Ma Mary

  • "The only crime I ever committed was to be born a Catholic." -Granda Joe

  • "No-one back there actually believed you were a Japanese tourist Gerry, they all thought you were a nutcase and took pity on you." -Ma Mary

  • "What's wrong with saying ‘fanny'? We all have one." -Michelle

  • "Half-load goes against everything I stand for, you know that da." -Ma Mary

  • "Sadly, I am unable to come on this one as I despise the French." -Sister Michael

  • "My auntie went to England years ago to get the abortion, never came back. Never got the abortion either. Look at you, James!" -Michelle

Funny Derry Girls Quotes

  • "Then why were you pissing on her dead body and making sandwiches?" -Aunt Sarah

  • "If anyone is feeling anxious, worried or maybe you just want a chat, please, please do not come crying to me." -Sister Michael

  • "I'll find some dirt on you yet, boy; I have people working on it." -Grandad Joe

  • "It tastes a bit like blood." -Orla

  • "You're not allowed to smoke in this place. Can you believe that? It's barbaric." -Aunt Sarah

  • "Loot at his eyes, he's a mad man. A Fenian-hating mad man. Don't let the Jaffa bastard hurt me!" -Clare

  • "You will go far in life, Jenny. But you will not be well liked." -Sister Michael

  • "I'll never understand the point of you." -Grandad Joe

  • "Will any of your crowd be going, love? Or can you not get Protestant lesbians?" -Aunt Sarah

  • "She told me to get some food first. Apparently sex makes you really hungry." -James

Cute Derry Girls Quotes

  • "Actually, she's our dick." -Clare

  • "Look, I wanted to be an individual but my ma wouldn't let me." -Erin

  • "Well, I am not being individual on me own." -Clare

  • "I don't smoke either, I just like meltin' stuff." -Orla

  • "Nobody good ever comes here cos we keep killing each other." -Erin

  • "He may be a lad, Jon, but I can offer you protection. I have a hunting knife." -Orla

  • "Part of the reason I became a nun—free accommodation." -Sister Michael

  • "You only get one life. Find your voice." -Ms. De Brún

  • "You can't ring Childline every time your mother threatens to kill you." -Michelle

  • "I am a Derry Girl!" -James

We Want to Hear From You

Which Derry Girls quote made you want to binge-watch the series all over again?

Tweet us @womendotcom or message us on Facebook to tell us!