Heartbreakingly Funny Quotes from Netflix's Dead to Me

Dead to Me via CBS Television Studios

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Our Favorite Quotes From 'Dead to Me'

Dead to Me is the perfect show for those who love dark comedy, but we don't have to tell you that. If you've made it here, you're probably already dangerously obsessed with the Netflix series. Dead to Me keeps us laughing through our tears.

Judy (Linda Cardellini) and Jen (Christina Applegate) have a powerful friendship that goes way deeper than what meets the eye. With death as the theme of the show, how much more morbid could it get? We hate to admit how much we love it, though. There's something hilarious about watching Jen and Judy suffer together.

With just a single season so far, we're totally hooked. Check out these humorous yet dark lines from Dead to Me. These quotes will bring you that guilty pleasure you can't seem to get enough of!

Disturbingly Funny 'Dead to Me' Quotes

  • "It's my take on Mexican lasagna. It's nothing. We just don't want you to think you're alone." - Karen

  • "The last time someone I love called me back he was dead." - Jen

  • "My aunt fell down a flight of stairs and cracked her head open and bled out as her five year old son watched, and I was the one that asked her to get me a soda from the basement. So I live with that. And that's a little something about me." - Wayne

  • "For a second I thought you were asking me if I wanted to fuck." - Jason

  • "Have you ever harbored a secret? It's crippling, and I think it's taking a toll on my health. And it's probably the reason why my womb is prematurely aging." - Judy

  • "I meditate. In my own way." - Jen

Try Not To Laugh At These Morbid 'Dead to Me' Quotes

  • "You were so great up there. You just oozed personality." - Judy

  • "Thank you…. And also just for not saying and doing the same stupid shit that everybody says and does and just makes you feel more alone than you already are, you know? And for not being repulsed by my version of grief." - Jen

  • "Wherever Judy goes, chaos tends to follow." - Steve

  • "You're Steve. You're alive?" - Jen

  • "Well it's like if Jeff got hit by a car and died, suddenly and violently, it's like that." - Jen

  • "There's a lot of Ted in there, a lot of his stuff. It's kind of spiritually overwhelming." - Judy

Embrace Your Dark Humor With These 'Dead to Me' Quotes

  • "So last week we started talking about the F-word. Forgiveness." - Wayne

  • "I have two kids, two boys who need me. So I'm not going to be one of those Xanax, Ambien, zombie moms, you know?" - Jen

  • "I don't know where you're getting this patriarchal shit from, but you are not the man of the house. You are a child." - Jen

  • "I can't feel my tongue." - Jen

  • "Come on. I have tissues and whiskey in my room." - Judy

  • "I haven't flirted with anyone since my husband died. I think I'm admitting that because I'm a little drunk." - Jen

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