Read 33 Delightful Bob Hope Quotes for a Great Day

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Laughter is the best form of medicine.

Our Favorite Bob Hope Quotes

We can appreciate these Bob Hope quotes because they are funny yet profound. As one of America's most beloved comedians, he's made people of all ages laugh to the point of tears. Hope recognized the power of laughter when it comes to healing, and we can all learn something from him.

He's joked about aging, politics, women and just about everything else. The best part is that there's always a great deal of truth behind his words. Even when he touched on a more serious matter, the late comedian makes sure to keep a comical edge.

Honor Bob Hope's life with these insightful and humorous quotes. Life isn't meant to be taken so seriously, so enjoy it while you can. These clever quotes will give you the energy you need to take on your day.

Profound Bob Hope Quotes

  • "A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?"

  • "I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful."

  • "No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties."

  • "I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there."

  • "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

  • "If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble."

  • "When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness."

  • "I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money."

  • "You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it."

  • "She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction."

  • "I don't know what people have against government; they haven't done anything."

Funny Quotes By Bob Hope

  • "The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off."

  • "If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it."

  • "I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty."

  • "I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them."

  • "Television is the box they buried entertainment in."

  • "I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap."

  • "I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House."

  • "Don't tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation."

  • "My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun."

  • "I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."

  • "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it."

Hilarious Bob Hope Quotes

  • "I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom."

  • "Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for."

  • "I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected."

  • "The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends."

  • "I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?"

  • "You know you've reached middle age when your weightlifting consists merely of standing up."

  • "My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?"

  • "My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They're still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens."

  • "Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens."

  • "It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets."

  • "Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."

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