These 30 Schitt's Creek Quotes Will Make You Laugh — Or Say Ew, David!
These 30 Schitt's Creek Quotes Will Have You Cry-Laughing
That is why we have gathered this killer compilation of the show's most hilarious quotes. We know just how easy it is to get caught up in the binge-watching, and miss the genius of this award-winning script!
Schitt's Creek Quotes
- “I’m trying very hard not to connect with people right now.” — David
- “Hide your diamonds, hide your exes, I’m a little bit Alexis!” — Alexis
- “If you’re looking for an ass to kiss, it’s mine.” — Roland
- “What kind of barnyard were you raised in?” — David
- “I don’t want to brag, but Us Weekly once described me as ‘up for anything.'” — Alexis
- “The idea of me life coaching another human being should scare you…a lot.” — David
- “Very uninterested in that opinion.” — David
- “I’m incapable of faking sincerity.” — Stevie
- “Tweet us on Facebook!” — Johnny
Schitt's Creek Show Quotes
- “Never let the bastards get you down!” — Moira
- “You’d think there’d be more of a market for oversized paintings of other people’s families.” — Stevie
- “I will not feel shame about the mall pretzels.” — David
- “If those bunnies feel exploited even a little bit, I am pulling the plug.” — Ted
- “We’re drinking to me not becoming an alcoholic.” — Stevie
- Alexis: “What’s your favorite season?” Moira: “Awards.”
- “My name is Alexis, and yes, I did not finish high school. Um, it’s this long, boring story involving a yacht, and a famous soccer player, and like a ton of mushrooms.” — Alexis
- “Like Beyoncé, I excel as a solo artist.” — David
Iconic Schitt's Creek Quotes
- “I’m only doing this because you called me rude, and I take that as a compliment.” — Stevie
- “Gossip is the devil’s telephone. Best to just hang up.” — Moira
- “I plan on popping a pill, crying a bit, and falling asleep early.” — David
- “I don’t skate through life, David. I walk through life, in really nice shoes.” — Alexis
- “You know what, David? You get murdered first for once.” — Alexis
- “This wine is awful. Get me another glass.” — Moira
- “You know, being approachable isn’t that important anyway, The Queen hasn’t smiled since the ’70s, and her birthdays are still very well attended.” — David -“I’d really like you to sing at my cousin’s funeral. She’s not dead, but she’s been coughing a lot lately.” — Roland
Let's Let The Good Times Roll!
What's your favorite Schitt's Creek quote? We want to know!