These 30 Schitt's Creek Quotes Will Make You Laugh — Or Say Ew, David!

Schitt's Creek via CBC Television

These 30 Schitt's Creek Quotes Will Have You Cry-Laughing

With 19 nominations and 9 wins at this year's Emmy's, Schitt's Creek has clearly left its mark on the world of entertainment. I mean, who can resist its comedic charm?

That is why we have gathered this killer compilation of the show's most hilarious quotes. We know just how easy it is to get caught up in the binge-watching, and miss the genius of this award-winning script!

Schitt's Creek Quotes

via ITV Studios Global Entertainment Debmar-Mercury/Lionsgate Television
  • “I’m trying very hard not to connect with people right now.” — David
  • “Hide your diamonds, hide your exes, I’m a little bit Alexis!” — Alexis
  • “If you’re looking for an ass to kiss, it’s mine.” — Roland
  • “What kind of barnyard were you raised in?” — David
  • “I don’t want to brag, but Us Weekly once described me as ‘up for anything.'” — Alexis
  • “The idea of me life coaching another human being should scare you…a lot.” — David
  • “Very uninterested in that opinion.” — David
  • “I’m incapable of faking sincerity.” — Stevie
  • “Tweet us on Facebook!” — Johnny

Schitt's Creek Show Quotes

ITV Studios Global Entertainment
  • “Never let the bastards get you down!” — Moira
  • “You’d think there’d be more of a market for oversized paintings of other people’s families.” — Stevie
  • “I will not feel shame about the mall pretzels.” — David
  • “If those bunnies feel exploited even a little bit, I am pulling the plug.” — Ted
  • “We’re drinking to me not becoming an alcoholic.” — Stevie
  • Alexis: “What’s your favorite season?” Moira: “Awards.”
  • “My name is Alexis, and yes, I did not finish high school. Um, it’s this long, boring story involving a yacht, and a famous soccer player, and like a ton of mushrooms.” — Alexis
  • “Like Beyoncé, I excel as a solo artist.” — David

Iconic Schitt's Creek Quotes

via ITV Studios Global Entertainment
  • “I’m only doing this because you called me rude, and I take that as a compliment.” — Stevie
  • “Gossip is the devil’s telephone. Best to just hang up.” — Moira
  • “I plan on popping a pill, crying a bit, and falling asleep early.” — David
  • “I don’t skate through life, David. I walk through life, in really nice shoes.” — Alexis
  • “You know what, David? You get murdered first for once.” — Alexis
  • “This wine is awful. Get me another glass.” — Moira
  • “You know, being approachable isn’t that important anyway, The Queen hasn’t smiled since the ’70s, and her birthdays are still very well attended.” — David -“I’d really like you to sing at my cousin’s funeral. She’s not dead, but she’s been coughing a lot lately.” — Roland

Let's Let The Good Times Roll!

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