This Ron Swanson Quotes Quiz Will Separate The Real Fans From The Fake

NBCUniversal Television Distribution

"There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk."

A real fan of Ron Swanson from the hit show Parks and Recreation should be able to finish all of these quotes!

 Jul 05, 2019

1 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by _____."
breakfast food
meat
bacon

2 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"Sting like a bee, but do not float like a butterfly. That's _____."
silly
ridiculous
stupid

3 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"I'm a simple man. I like pretty, _____ women, and breakfast food."
dark-haired
smart
blonde

4 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"Put some _____ in your mouth to block the words from coming out."
alcohol
food
gum

5 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"Dear frozen yogurt, you are the _____ of desserts. Be ice cream or nothing. Zero stars."
broccoli
celery
kale

6 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"I'm not interested in caring about _____."
people
animals
coworkers

7 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"_____ do nothing for me… but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace."
Hookers
Strippers
Models

8 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"Clear alcohols are for _____ on diets."
rich women
college kids
children

9 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his _____. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."
face
title
name

10 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"_____ – acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon."
Crying
Singing
Laughing

11 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"When people get too _____ with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them."
cordial
chummy
friendly

12 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"You had me at _____ Tornado."
Meat
Steak
BBQ

13 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and _____."
blackmail
hunger
lust

14 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"If any of you need anything at all, too bad. Deal with your problems yourselves, like _____."
men
adults
grown-ups

15 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"The _____ is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer's teat until they have sore, chapped nipples."
CEO
boss
government

16 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"Capitalism: God's way of determining who is smart and who is _____."
poor
weak
dumb

17 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"Keep your _____ in your eyes where they belong."
tears
corneas
irises

18 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"Straight down the middle. No hook, no spin, no fuss. Anything more and this becomes _____."
figure skating
jazzercise
dancing

19 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"_____: one to three is sufficient."
Kids
Friends
Pets

20 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish…and feed yourself. He's a _____. And fishing's not that hard."
fast learner
smart guy
grown man

21 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he's allowed to decide is who to _____."
nuke
bomb
fire

22 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"Fishing relaxes me. It's like _____, except I still get to kill something."
pilates
meditation
yoga

23 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"It's pointless for a human to _____ scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it."
photograph
paint
draw

24 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other cultures, use an _____ or a ham radio."
abacus
encyclopedia
atlas

25 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"Any dog under _____ pounds is a cat and cats are useless."
fifty
eighty
thirty

26 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"One _____ every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it."
rage
breakdown
fight

27 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"I'd wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their _____."
failures
flaws
faults

28 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into _____."
Swansons
knights
kings

29 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"There's only one thing I hate more than lying: _____."
diet soda
fake butter
skim milk

30 of 30Finish The Ron Swanson Quote!

"I was born _____. I'm Ron F***ing Swanson."
awesome
perfect
ready
WOMEN.COM | Quiz Facts

What's not to love about Ron Swanson? He loves his country, not doing much and breakfast foods. As a man who lives proudly "off the grid," Ron's a master carpenter, a suave saxophonist, and a proud carnivore. Patriotic, cynical and with a penchant for breakfast foods, Ron Swanson is a man's man and the no nonsense director of the Parks and Recreation department of Pawnee, Indiana. Played by Nick Offerman, Ronald Ulysses Swanson is an oft-quoted character because of his signature deadpan delivery and masculine persona. But just how much do you really know about everyone's favorite bacon-loving, government-hating, gold-burying, banana-battling alpha specimen? And how well do you remember all of his meatiest morsels of wisdom? It's time to take the ultimate Ron Swanson quote challenge. Let's see if you can recall all of Ron Swanson's random and hilarious musings. All you need to do is look at a series of incomplete quotes from Ron Swanson and fill in the blanks with the correct missing words. Sound easy enough? It won't be! We've compiled some tricky quotes along with some of Ron's more memorable one liners? So will you make Ron Swanson proud and get a perfect score on this quiz? Or will you fail miserably and be made fun of endlessly by Ron himself? Only one way to find out! Hit the play button now and show us what you've got! Best of luck to you on this quiz... or as Ron would say, "I'd wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures."