What Not To Say During Sex, As Illustrated By Your Favorite Rom-Coms
Sex can be equally awkward on-screen and off-screen.
Let’s face it: sometimes sex is awkward. When you’re first getting to know someone and decide to take things to the next level, things don’t always go as perfectly as a choreographed sex scene from "The Notebook."
To help you avoid saying or doing something that might ruin the moment, we’re turning to the awkward but lovable ladies from some of the most memorable chick flicks of all time.
Here are the top seven things not to say during sex, as illustrated by your favorite rom-coms.
1.Don’t name your guy’s penis something cute.
If there’s one thing we learned from "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," it’s never to emasculate a man before sex. You might think you’re being funny by naming it “Princess Sophia,” but giving your guy’s member a silly nickname without his permission could really affect his self-confidence — making it harder for him to get, ahem, hard.
1. Don’t start saying the alphabet.
If you’re going down on a woman and don’t know what she likes, do not — I repeat — DO NOT start saying and spelling the alphabet with your tongue. It’s not even hot when Justin Timberlake does it in "Friends with Benefits." If JT can’t bring the sexy alphabet back, neither can you.
2. Don’t fake your orgasm.
We know it can be frustrating when you just can’t seem to climax. Rather than hurting your partner’s ego, it can seem tempting to fake it. But all this will end up doing is prohibiting your partner from learning how to actually get you off. Be honest about what feels good and what doesn’t. With a little patience and communication, you’ll never have to fake it again.
3. Don’t give your partner a play-by-play of what you’re doing.
Dirty talk is an art form — and one that needs to be practiced if you want to get really good at it. You want to be suggestive and sexual without sounding awkwardly blunt. Sometimes less is more.
4. Don’t say you’re going to “bang.”
I don't care if your naked body looks like it's photoshopped (We're looking at you, Ryan Gosling). This will always sound awkward. Just don’t say it, okay?
5. Don’t say “I love you” for the first time during sex.
There’s nothing wrong with partners in committed relationships proclaiming their love for each other while getting it on. But if you’ve only been dating the guy for a couple weeks and you accidentally blurt out those three little words in the throes of passion, chances are you’re going to scare the poor guy off. Try to have fun in the moment and save the serious talk for a later time.
6. Don’t say you want your partner to leave.
Unless you want to sound like a dick, don’t make a big deal about your partner leaving the minute you’ve done the deed. No matter how casual the relationship, the least you could do is cuddle, pillow talk, or just lay there quietly for a few minutes.
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