Running America For Dummies: A Reference For Donald Trump!
A how-to guide to actually "Make America Great Again."
Donald Trump has officially been elected the 45th President of the United States. Out of respect for America's democratic process, I thought I'd offer an olive branch to The Donald and give him some well-intentioned advice on what Presidential skills he should learn before he gets sworn in as POTUS.
1. Please learn to avoid bankrupting the American economy six times.
2. Please learn to refrain from grabbing female constituents by the pussy.
3. Please learn to impress world leaders without bragging about your penis size.
4. Please learn to keep your tiny hands away from the nuclear launch buttons.
5. Please learn to actually "love Hispanics" by not offending Mexicans.
6. Please learn to tolerate religious freedom for all . . . Yes, you have to include Muslims.
7. Please learn to let women control their own reproductive health without threatening them.
8. Please learn to contribute to the country's greater good by paying federal taxes -- not evading them.
9. Please learn to not force our armed forces to commit war crimes just because you want to feel macho.
10. Please learn to stop mocking the disabled, the overweight, and anyone you don't find "attractive" enough.
11. Please learn to stop reminding every woman of the sexist bosses, creepy cat-callers, and abusive exes they already encounter all the time.
12. Please learn to do what you do best and kick yourself out of office.
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