Running America For Dummies: A Reference For Donald Trump!

politics, donald trump
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A how-to guide to actually "Make America Great Again."

Donald Trump has officially been elected the 45th President of the United States. Out of respect for America’s democratic process, I thought I’d offer an olive branch to The Donald and give him some well-intentioned advice on what Presidential skills he should learn before he gets sworn in as POTUS.

1. Please learn to avoid bankrupting the American economy six times.

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2. Please learn to refrain from grabbing female constituents by the pussy.

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3. Please learn to impress world leaders without bragging about your penis size.

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4. Please learn to keep your tiny hands away from the nuclear launch buttons.

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5. Please learn to actually “love Hispanics” by not offending Mexicans.

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6. Please learn to tolerate religious freedom for all . . . Yes, you have to include Muslims.

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7. Please learn to let women control their own reproductive health without threatening them.

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8. Please learn to contribute to the country's greater good by paying federal taxes -- not evading them.

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9. Please learn to not force our armed forces to commit war crimes just because you want to feel macho.

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10. Please learn to stop mocking the disabled, the overweight, and anyone you don't find "attractive" enough.

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11. Please learn to stop reminding every woman of the sexist bosses, creepy cat-callers, and abusive exes they already encounter all the time.

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12. Please learn to do what you do best and kick yourself out of office.

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