Do you ever feel like a doormat? Do you feel like people take you for granted, or that people mistake your kindness for weakness? Are you being taken advantage of?
Well, that's probably because you aren't putting yourself first, and it's ruining your life.
Putting other people before yourself can lead to low self-esteem, low-self worth, unmanageability, resentment, depression, anxiety and STRESS. All of those things translate to a bad time.
Gina DeVee says, "As women, we tell ourselves that all we deserve are the crumbs. We only give to ourselves when everyone else has been given to. That’s when we tell ourselves we deserve to receive. Give to yourself today instead. If you wait, then all that’s left over is the crumbs."
Do you relate?
If you're ready to take control of your life, here are some ways that you can put yourself first.
TAKE SOME ALONE TIME TO UNWIND
There are several healthy benefits to alone time, such as:
Taking time to find your own voice
Giving you time to think
Enhancing the time you get to spend with others, and allowing you to savor and enjoy it
Give you time to reboot and unwind
BE AN INDIVIDUAL, ESPECIALLY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Instead of being WITH someone that makes you happy, BE someone that makes you happy. In order to love someone else, you have to love yourself first. And if you're always worrying about someone else's happiness, eventually you're going to become depleted and resentful.
While it's important to be aware of your partner's needs and wants, it's also important not to be a doormat. So the more you have a fully actualized, individual life, the stronger your relationship will be. Remember- the reason you and your partner fell in love in the first place is because he liked who you were as a person: your hobbies, your interests, your passions. If you put everyone else before you, what makes you you falls to the wayside.
By putting yourself first, you get to shine brilliantly and be your best self-- and in the end, that's the way you can best be of service to others.
With your partner, with your children, with your friends, AND at work. Remember that "no" is a complete sentence. If you're feeling burnt out, take some time for yourself. What good are you to others when your energy is depleted. What good are you to yourself?
It's important to know how to make yourself happy and cut out the things in your life that don't make you happy. That's one of the blessings of being an adult: you get to decide who you have in your life.
So it might be good to ask yourself:
1) Did I enjoy what I did yesterday?
2) Am I looking forward to anything today?
3) Am I being true to myself?
So, do something nice for yourself today.
What might that be? Maybe go pick out your favorite book, and read for a while. See a movie alone. Take a nice bubble bath. Practice saying no at work. Cook yourself dinner with your favorite music on, using your best china. Cancel some plans, or maybe make some with old friends.
The more you enjoy yourself, the more enjoyable you'll be to be around.
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