I have one friend --Becky--who goes missing every time she begins a new relationship. We don't even call her out on it anymore. We've just come to expect it. Every time she gets a new boyfriend we basically all understand that we won't be seeing Becky for several months at a time. She's so codependent that she'll even ask to bring her boyfriend to a Girl's Night Out. Yeah-- no. Not gonna happen.
Do you have a Becky in your friend group? We all do. And as soon as she and her boyfriend break up (which inevitably, they always will and do), she'll come back crying- wanting things to be normal as usual. She'll call you and want to talk on the phone for hours post break up, even though she hasn't asked you how you are in months. She'll want to be invited to that girl's trip out of town, even though she hasn't made it to your birthday party in the past two years.
You know one person who was constantly ditched by her friends when they started dating new guys? Lauren Conrad, or LC, from The Hills.
Here are some pics that perfectly describe what it's like when ur BFF choses her S.O. over you.
You swear you'd never do it, until that moment when ooops...you actually do. Remember when Lauren ended up not taking her dream job in Paris because she wanted to spend the summer at a beach house with her boyfriend?
What happens when you give up everything for a guy, and then the relationship doesn't end up working?
Or when you and your friend never really get in a fight, but the friendship kind of just..disappears?
Or, when you and your best friend's boyfriend really just don't get along.
And you don't want to say anything to your friend, because you don't want to remind your BFF to be your...well, BFF.
What do you do when your BFF chooses boyfriends over besties?
Remind your friend that it's important to have some balance in her life. Remember: only two whole people with fully functioning individual lives can really have a healthy, long standing relationship. So, having girls nights, dinners, brunches, and time alone will actually help her relationship, not hurt it.
Don't be surprised if she misses a few texts, is late to respond, or doesn't initiate plans. For a while, maybe make the first effort.
If your friendship doesn't feel reciprocated, have a conversation once or twice expressing your feelings. But, if nothing improves, your friend might have some codependence issues she needs to work out that have nothing to do with you.
Call her out. Maybe a reality check is all she needs.
Best of luck, and remember, if LC could get through it, so can you.
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