Is Your Guy Getting Complacent?

Is your man complacent, or is he just comfortable?

Complacency can be the nail in the coffin for relationships. It's autopilot. If you think your relationship is running cold, it's probably because somewhere along the way your partner became a zombie without you even noticing. Complacency can be tricky because it can disguise itself as comfort. You start going out on less dates, he stops complimenting you, you haven't received flowers in months, when was the last time you had sex?, then all the sudden-- your boyfriend is gone, and you're stuck with a roommate you awkwardly have to kiss sometimes.

Here's the thing: we do want to get comfortable in relationships. We want to feel safe and secure enough to truly be ourselves. We don't want to wear makeup every day, and our man doesn't want to be constantly reassuring us with forms of flattery to keep the magic alive. However-- there is a special spark that differentiates best buds from boyfriends.

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There's a rumor going around and it turns out to be true: relationships take effort. In order to make your significant other feel wanted and desired, especially over long stretches of time, you need to make them feel special. Physical intimacy-- that's crucial. Whether it's sex or snuggling, rubbing up against your partner releases the hormone Oxytocin which literally chemically bonds the two of you together.

That's not all. Compliments. Small gestures. Those are important too. All that love language stuff: receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. These are the things that keep a relationship happy.

But what happens when all that romance starts fading away? Can you spot the warning signs of comfort slowly fading into complacency?

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If you're wondering if your boyfriend is committed, comfortable, or just complacent, here are some signs that he might be checking out of your relationship:

  • He never makes you a priority

  • All romantic gestures have stopped

  • You two never go out out together (it's mostly Netflix and chill for you and this point)

  • If you don't do something for him, he gets angry-- and you haven't heard the word "Thank you" in a VERRRRY long time

  • He doesn't initiate contact, and he doesn't respond to your texts

  • You haven't been complimented in a very long time (and you've had like 5 different hairstyles, and a promotion)

  • He missed an important event (actually a few) of yours in favor of a boys night

  • Your gut just knows

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If you spot some of these behaviors in your significant other, remember: it's never too late to bring the spice back to your relationship. While it's great to get comfortable with your partner, it's not always best practice to get complacent.

So if you think your partner might have checked out, it might be time to check in with him. Have an honest conversation about your concerns. Men aren't mind readers-- he might not even realize that he needs to up his game. If you tell your significant other exactly what you want, he might just give it to you. Or, if your partner has emotionally checked out and is now just coasting along, that's not someone you want to be with anyway.

The warning signs of complacency are like a check engine light of your relationship. It's time to see what's up, and hope your relationship isn't a lemon.

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