What The World Would Be Like If We All Loved Pot
Puff, puff, pass would be the Second Amendment
Take a good look at today's society and you're sure to be jaded by the cruelties and uncertainties of the world: the ages long struggle to bring peace to the Middle East, our alarmingly increasing environmental problems, racism, world hunger, the conscious uncoupling of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. Brangelina. Trump.
In a world with so many triggers and fears, so many variabilities and risks to take into account: religious conflicts, the Syrian refugee conflict, the khaki pants conflict, panic about what the future holds for Taylor Swift suitors, we'd like to see things ~mellow out~, see people chill.
We're willing to bet that things would look a lot different, if every person in the world embraced a world of dank herb (particularly CBD rich) things would look a lot different. For one...
The snack food industry would rule
The Great America Twinkies Scare of 2012 would have never happened and the stock of Lays chips would soar. Everyone would have access to Cheetos and people who ate only organic, gluten free foods by choice would not exist.
That's because Cheetos would be the main stock item in convenience stores, gas stations, vending machines. The water coolers at banks would flow with spicy hot Cheetos dust.
Murder rates would take a nosedive
You want to know the exact opposite thing of wanting to chill? Murder. No one eats a magic brownie and has the energy or mindset to plan out a murder. "What about murders that happen in a rage?" you ask. Promise a hit of some koosh will keep a person too lazy to get off the couch to even use a remote control as the murder weapon.
War would not exist
Or at the very least there'd be war without killings. That's because no one wants to have a physical altercation when they're stoned, again, they don't want to get up off of the couch. Wars on pot would be like the deep debate you get into with your roommate after some THC packed gummies. Military officials would say the same shit on loop for 30 minutes and then forget what their war strategies were in the first place. Generals would go back to their tents and spend the rest of the night trying to find a movie to stream on Netflix.
President Obama would be even cooler
President Oganja is just a better name y'all.
Be honest with yourselves this is perfection.
The Footloose remake would have never happened
The Never Ending Story, Jumanji. Directors would leave these movies alone, because after a thoughtful and artistic breakthrough on some herb, they'd come up with their own brilliant ideas. The quality of movies would sore and Michael Bay would dig deep and find a better focus for his female plots. We'd never be exposed to movies like Allegiant and The Angry Birds Movie.
Yes. Tom Cruise would be different.
While everyone's mental health would be better, their manners: nicer - we'd all be more introspective and too paranoid to be mean. Tom Cruise would also get an epic personality makeover. He would never have said that shit to Matt Lauer and your uncle would have never been introduced to word "glib". What's more, he and the world of Scientology would have never kept Leah Remini from King of Queens and people wouldn't be on some weird cruise ship scrubbing floors for Xenu.
Of course, that is not to say that every problem of the world would be solved...
Your flying high and paranoid mom would keep calling you to see if you were mad at her.
Your college roommate would still be playing Bob Marley CDs on loop every day (fingers crossed she really has stopped that).
The amount of invoices in your bank account for Grubhub delivery would be massive.
Your neighbor would constantly hassle you to come over to try some of his "good stuff" and "smoke you out"
And you still couldn't just even.
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