Nearly nne years after the tragic death of her longterm partner Heath Ledger, Michelle Williams opened up to Porter magazine about what it's been like to raise their daughter alone.
For the "Winter Escape" issue of Porter Magazine, the actress revealed that she is still coping with the fact that the 11-year-old will grow up without her father, and why she believes it will never "be right." Their daughter was just two years old when Ledger died in January 2008 of an accidental drug overdose at the age of 28.
"In all honesty, for pretty much everything else, I feel like I’m a believer in not fighting circumstances, accepting where you are and where you’ve been," she said, according to USA Today. "In pretty much all senses but one. I would be able to go totally down that line of thinking were it not for Matilda not having her dad. You know that’s just something that doesn’t … I mean, it just won’t ever be right."
Williams also opened up about how she still isn't entirely comfortable with dating, despite the fact that she and Ledger split in 2007, prior to his death.
"I just want to stay home and take care of people, but I’m also happy with myself and just because I might have a desire to be with someone … that won’t lead me to marry the wrong person," she continued. "I know a handful of women in similar positions, it’s kind of like a club. It’s a [expletive] club and we don’t want any new members … and all of the current members are exhausted. But man, oh man, it’s lifesaving to have."
The actress also shared how despite the tragedy she is able to find intense moments of joy in being a single parent, recalling a time when she'd watched Matilda wave goodbye from her bike as she left to go meet with some friends.
"I went back into the house and sobbed because of this incredibly simple moment — common everyday happiness," Williams said. "I really felt like in that moment, like wow, we’ve done it. Not only are we OK, she’s happy."