10 Fire Ways To Respond To That “U Up?” Text

texting, the hills, Heidi

'Yes, trying to find the undo button on our relationship'

I'm not saying romance is dead, but if it is, I think we can agree that it's likely the birth of cell phones was the final nail in the coffin. There's no doubt of the universal truth that every woman with cellphone service has fallen victim to the unsolicited booty text. You know the one, you get it from that guy you've been casually seeing but just wants to define things as "talking" and "hanging out".

The next time your phone buzzes and one of those babies pop up, clap back with one of these zingers and keep on stepping to the next bloke.



“You know...."


"there was a time when a man would have to write an entire sonnet before a woman would even look at him."

“I used to be like you..."


"Staying up all night, responding to ‘U up?' texts. But ever since I tried new Vicks ZzzQuil, I sleep right through that bullsh*t! Try Vicks ZzzQuil and delete my number today!"

“I want to respond..."


"but I can't think of anything to text you that won't get me flagged by the NSA."

“Sorry, I canceled my Netflix and Chill account.”


“Oh, I stay up all night every night..."


"writing our names and drawing hearts around them in my notebook. Why, what's up?"

I’m sorry, your booty call cannot be completed as dialed.”


"No. I'm a sleep"


"Not if you're about to ask me to come over"