The Single Woman's Saturday Night Timeline
A timeline for #AllTheSingleLadies out there on Saturday nights. We see you.
8:00 p.m. The Pre-Pre Game
It's Saturday night, you spent the majority of your day watching Netflix and almost finished a whole season of your favorite show. Your friends call you and tell you it's about to be "lit." But, you have not planned one bit. Before the actual pre-game, you have to prepare for it. Time to find an outfit.
9:00 p.m. Attempt To Look Like A Human
You've got your vodka cranberry chilling in the fridge, your favorite Spotify playlist blasting, and more makeup than you knew you had scattered on your bathroom table. It's time to put yourself together.
10:00 p.m. One Last Glance
You know, you tried. It's the effort that counts, right?
10:30 p.m. The Actual Pre Game
You're late, what's new. You're uber dropped you off at the wrong street. Your friends have already made you a drink. Some are single, some are taken, some are taking Instagram's with their "one and only". You shove that drink down fast.
11:30 p.m. The Drinking Alone Pre-Game
You're just using the "rest room". But you're just in need of some liquid courage- it's going to be a rough night.
12:00 a.m. The Uber
There's that one friend.... their's the one friend with the AUX cord, and you looking up your Uber driver's ratings.
12:30 a.m. "First Round On Me"
You're generous when you're tipsy. Too generous, you know you shouldn't bring out your debit card. But ya did it anyway....
1:00 a.m. The Hit On
Your one and only opportunity. A semi-attractive male approaches you, but your socially awkward and can't hold a conversation when you have a glass of vodka cranberry down your throat. Missed it.
2:00 a.m. Wait Where Are My Friends
One is puking, in the men's room, the other is looking for you, and the rest have all gone home with their significant others. The search is on.
2:45 a.m. Reunited At Last
I MISSED YOU SO MUCH.
3:00 a.m. "But I'm Hungry, Can We Stop For Taco Bell?"
You're Uber driver knows they should have just stayed home. You really want that Chalupa, but you can't make the words come out of your mouth. Cha- cha-.... Thankfully, the Uber driver knows what you want, since you cried about how your ex-boyfriend and you used to eat them all the time....
3:30 a.m. The Review
Yeah it was you, you were crying. Your friend took your last beer, it's okay though she promised you she owes you next weekend.
9:30 a.m. The Reminder
Another single Saturday night in the books, until next weekend, right?