Some of us had slumber parties, shopping and mani-pedi dates with our best friend. Some of us happened to be lucky enough to call our mother this ‘best friend’ and it was ultimately the best thing ever. However, for the rest of us, who never seemed to have the same bond that Lorelai and Rory shared in Gilmore Girls, we never understood these deep and meaningful mother-daughter relationships.
Instead of cute shopping dates, we go online shopping. Instead of deep chats over afternoon tea, we go to Starbucks and order a latte by ourselves. Instead of your mom posting subliminal posts on your Facebook timeline about how crappy your ex boyfriend is, she just utters “sorry” when you tell her you have heart aches. There is nothing wrong with not being best friends with your mom. It certainly doesn't mean that you love your mom any less. It just means that you actually consider your mom as a mother and not as your BFF.
So, here is the list of why you and your mom NOT being best friends is totally okay:
You became independent.
Some people needed their mom to bring them everywhere, from house parties to the mall. However, you’re not dependent on another person because you’re a #strongindependentwoman who doesn’t need a (wo)man. So, now, you can do your back zip by yourself, go shopping alone and eat in a restaurant by yourself.
You rely on your girl squad to be there for you.
When you had your first heartbreak and sat there crying endlessly, your mom wasn’t there for you but your gal pals were. Now, your best girlfriends know every secret, every heartbreak and every piece of gossip.
You don’t have to ask her what to wear.
When you wanted to wear those fishnet tights and neon lipstick during junior high school, you went for it. No questions asked. Now that you’re older, you don’t need her approval of what to wear to Thanksgiving or Christmas because you're independent.
You don’t always need to spoil her with presents.
You two aren’t that close and maybe, it’s better for your wallet. On birthdays and holidays, you don’t need to spend a hefty amount of money buying your mom handbags she doesn’t need or candles she won’t even light.
She wasn’t involved in your love life.
Perhaps, it was a blessing in disguise that your mom didn’t help you out with your love life. Who knows? You might have ended up married to your next door neighbour’s son and be living in a farm with five kids by now if you had listened to your mom’s advice on who she wanted you to date.
You didn’t end up exactly like her.
Some moms want their daughters to be exactly like them and will see it as a major flaw if their daughters aren’t also obsessed with baking apple pie and scrapbooking like there’s no tomorrow. However, due to the non BFF relationship you had, you became your own person and you have your own interests (even if it means no apple pie and scrapbooks).
She grounded you when she needed to.
Although Regina George’s mom from Mean Girls uttered, “I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom!” and every teenager seemed to relate with their mom being like that, you just couldn’t. You accepted that your mom is that regular mom who knows when to ground you when you’ve been drinking too much and you wouldn’t want to have it any other way.
So, don’t ever feel bad for all the times you were jealous of those mother-daughter BFF bonds everyone seemed to have because you and your mom have your own little unique relationship that just isn't on that best friend level.